I like the sea, although I haven't seen it for a while. I like to stand on a rocky shore while a storm drives frightening grey waves against the rocks. I haven't done this for a while either. The best place to do this might be Cornwall or Wales, the lands of my ancestors, but I haven't been back to my little island for a long, long time... maybe next year.
I sometimes think of myself as a rock on the shore, and life as the angry sea. Then I realise that, if I'm a rock I am at best a gravelly aggregate, at worst a pillar of salt or something equally soluble in ocean. The plan, you see is shot. The plan was to live forever. The plan has met the enemy and failed to survive first contact. The plan has been washed away.
A liposarcoma the size of a house cat will do that, it makes you think; it will make you make you re-evaluate the 'plan'. Then it will make you whimper a bit and go back to bed for a nap. Trust me on this. Hey... I'm an existentialist, I'm a stoic. This stuff isn't supposed to bother me. Nothing used to bother me. Everyone around me could collapse into a gibbering heap, but I'd barely notice. Stress? Me? Never. So what do I do? I know. I'll ignore it. That should work. What I refuse to acknowledge or think about cannot possibly hurt me.
So my doctor sent me swimming. I wanted to play soccer but due to all the bad photographers who make me look fat, the strain on my weedy little legs would be too great and they'd snap like pathetic little twigs driven over by a number seven omnibus. My rule systems are realistic; everybody says so. I used to be a good swimmer, say ML95. Like riding a bike. On the other hand I used to be a good swimmer in the 'old milennium'. I wrote a skill decline rule for this stuff hmmm... 40 years of non-use that's about 480 months with a 67% chance each month of it going down so that would give me an ML of about 95-360= Damn... but wait, it can't drop below OML right? So what's my SB Hmm... Str/End/Agl must be about 18 I guess... astrological modifier... Taurus not shown... I expect it's no help though... call it Ulandus... OML=18x1=18... Hmmm. I had a dream last night, I dreamed I went to the leisure centre and drowned in the pool. Oh... hey... wait. Skill Decline is an optional rule. I always use it when I GM, but I see no reason to use it in my real life. ML95 it is then!
Just got back from my first swim. I don't know why they call that place a 'leisure centre'. After two lengths I couldn't breathe. After three, my heart stopped... well, people question this last assertion. I suppose what really happened is that my heart rate went up so high that it began to bother dogs and racoons... I also visited the Altish bathhouse, and it was quite nice going from the quite warm room into the quite chilly pool. So I bought a membership (if I pay I will go). If I do this three times a week until I die, then that could be either sooner or later :).
CT scan tomorrow (what does CT stand for anyway ... never mind I don't care).
